What my first job has taught me

So for over the past month or so, I joined many other individuals who are part of the elite working force. It was not a role that I was quite familiar with but being the person that I am, I believe in trying it out and giving things a chance to see if it would be a good fit or not.

As it turns out, it wasn't. The first few weeks were fine but as I slowly began to delve even deeper into it, I had an epiphany.

"I don't quite like this job."

It wasn't the workplace or anything like that but it was the lack of passion that I had for the actual work that I found to be troubling. My colleagues were passionate and enthused about the work they were doing. You could tell by the hours of effort they put in and the dedication in their eyes. I clearly lacked that.

I wondered if this was because of my lack of being able to adapt to the environment or something but the more I thought about it, the clearer it became.

This isn't what I want to do for a living... 

Then I had to ask myself, "What is IT that you want to do for a living exactly Tasha?"

Instinctively, right away both my heart and brain told me the same thing...

I want to write!

At that is what I shall do, I shall write. I cannot imagine myself doing anything else but this and if this is the dream that I want, who says that I can't do it now? 

We all know that the arrival of death is never a scheduled thing. We also know that time is something that needs to be utilized as best as possible. Yet, many of us are frightened to make that commitment to ourselves to go for what we want.

I'm afraid too. Of all the things that could go horribly wrong. Of all the consequences of my current actions and the actions yet to come. Then I think about the things that could go positively right. And it feels better.

I don't know what is going to happen in the future. I have a plan of sorts and I'm gonna work towards it properly but hey, things never really go according to plan do they? 

Whatever it is that you wanna do in life, love it. 

Love,

Geek with a pencil.

Awkward much?

Okay, so most of you are looking at that title and thinking,"Wait, awkward? She's hardly awkward!" or something along those lines... most likely. Or you could just be nodding and going,"Yeap, totally saw it!". Well, whatever your response is, this is the truth. I am indeed awkward. I don't know about you guys but being awkward feels somewhat normal most days. A contradiction? Most definitely.

You may see me as a somewhat regular functioning human being but I'm just as awkward as that 13 year old teenager that I was a couple of years back. I'm just a lot better at hiding it and perhaps pretending that I'm someone else. Fake it till you make it, right?

One of the things I still struggle with to this day is making a phone call. I love texting for this reason alone. I don't have to call! *pumps fist into air* Even when it's just calling a friend or family member, I still stumble over my words on the phone. And I tend to over chatter quite a bit to cover up for how nervous I am. Formal type phone calls are the worst. I have to write down what I want to say so I don't just end up silent the whole time. It usually ends up being an awkward experience anyway.

The point here being that we all have a little bit of awkwardness to us and that instead of looking down on it, we should embrace it. It's some part of who we are and if we can't accept all of ourselves, well, then we aren't really whole... Being awkward has its advantages after all. So below is a short list of the benefits of being awkward (in no particular order).

1) Awkward people have adorable mascots. Penguins and turtles anyone?

2) People aren't threatened by you. *swoops in and takes cookie*

3) If nothing else, someone out there will find you bloody endearing.

4) Your clumsiness is now part of a set. Boo ya!

5) The people you most probably definitely hate will stay away from you.

So... yeah... that's it. *Awkwardly runs off*

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

P.s. So just how awkward are you? You should leave a comment. Or not. I guess.

Like a Poem

My Little Pony, My Little...

Awkward Penguin

Nyan

         Nyan

                   Nyan

And the Philosoraptor eats him as he ponders.

Y U NO

Ermahgerd?

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Well, what can you do Pedobear?

Haters gonna hate.

I guess we should all put our first world problems aside 

And pull a duck face

Your argument is invalid

One does not simply

Slender Man

Challenge accepted.

Passion versus profit?

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to attend a workshop by Gerry Roberts (Author of Millionaire Mindset). He was very interesting and entertaining and although I don't entirely agree with some of the things he says, he makes some very solid points and I got some really interesting things to ponder from it. 

Now the particular workshop that I attended was called "How to write a book and grow rich". Being a 'writer' type person this concept got me curious as well as worried in some ways, my inner book geek was already signaling my brain with a red flag... Can you really write a book and get money from it?

You can apparently. If you write, a profit book. A profit book is that book that is clearly marketed and has a particular goal in mind. You write that book and you sell it to your target market. And the people you sell it to won't necessarily even read it. Spelling mistakes and English don't really matter as much (insert shocked look) . Your book becomes the marketing tool for yourself and you use it to sell or whatever your purpose is.

This is very different from a passion book. A passion book is the book you want to write that may not sell all that well. That collection of poems, that young adult novel... Things that mean more to you but you're not exactly sure if you'll live like JK Rowling from the sales.

It's a bit like life though isn't it? You either get the job that is only half or maybe not even what you want to do and make money from it or you do something that makes you happy but possibly only gives you just a bit of that financial stability...

And this is where I ask myself, do I want to sell out or not? 

This picture by Dallas Clayton (who is an incredible children's book author as well as an awesome person!), basically reinforced my feelings and is now my new mantra. I think you probably know the answer on where I stand on the debate of passion versus profit. 



Do you know yours?

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

Just another humble man...

Most of my childhood was basically spent living in the comfort of my grandparent's house. We only moved into our own place as I entered the college phase of my life. Because of these circumstances, I grew up being surrounded by not only one but two very positive male role models in my life. My wonderful dad and the man who I would like to dedicate this piece to, my dear grandfather... My Atuk.

There a lot of things that one can admire about him. He's a retired Air Force man and I guess it's something that he carries with him even till today. From his mannerisms to his disciplined nature, it is evident in his character. Sad to say none of us grandchildren inherited this from him but I'd like to think that seeing this constant side of him in the house has instilled in all of us a sense of honour and belief in our own capabilities. Something that we can hold onto even when the world is against us...

He also has a funny side to him. Always making jokes and poking fun at all of us and even himself. I'm sure many of his close friends would be able to attest to how much of a joker he can be. Sometimes, when I'm visiting him and in the house, I'll find the odd joke book or two next to his bedside table. His laughter is a hearty one that can fill up a room with a sense of warmth.

Unknowingly as I grow up into adulthood, I keep learning a lot of things from Atuk. His relationship with my grandmother or Nanny, as I affectionately call her, is one thing that I learn from. They've spent almost 51 years being married and as far as I can tell, they still have a very youthful love. They still tease each other like teenagers and the look in their eyes is clear... It's the sort of the love that anyone would be lucky to have and it's from watching them that I have learned to recognise my own true love.

There are a lot of things that I could say about my Atuk but I'll stop here and finish with this poem.

Just another humble man

Another deafening boom comes alive

From the ol' grandfather clock

Loud and steady

Like a human heart

At his beloved desk, the humble man sits

He sips, he writes

He guffaws

His forehead touches the sejadah

Spirit soaring

He smiles

The day has come and gone

Tick

       Tock

               Tick

                      No Talk

The night is peaceful.

Happy Birthday Atuk! Your family loves you.

Love,

Your eldest granddaughter.

5 things that everyone should probably know...

So for a while, there was a bit of a trend going around. People would be sharing thought catalog lists and buzzfeed videos of things mainly concerning souls like me who are currently dealing with our epic battle against the quarter life crisis. I found it amusing how most of the advice given was pretty basic and figured that I'd try my hand at writing such a thing. I mean, a majority of the stuff said can basically be applied to people of all ages but hey, here's my take on it.

5 things that everyone should probably know (but people tend to forget)

1) Be yourself

It is crazy how easy it is to just forget something as simple as this. We tell this to children all the time but at some point, as we grow and become adults, we forget to do this too. The world becomes a harsh and scary place as you learn to adapt to the changes that come chasing after you. It is easy to become jaded and become someone 'fake' but by doing so, you lose the essence of what makes you stand out as a human being. Your natural soul becomes a lost cause. Rediscover yourself and accept and always be who you are. It's never an easy thing but it's rewarding as hell.

2) Do what makes you happy (within reason)

I think one of everyone's biggest fear is getting stuck in a situation that makes them unhappy. How do you deal with it? Do what makes you happy! Whether it is finding the right job or getting involved in hobbies that help you grow, if it puts a smile on your face, do it! Of course, you can't just go doing EXACTLY what you want all the time. You have to be practical about certain things and you don't want to be causing trouble for others. But hey, if it's a reasonable sort of happiness, why not?

3) Everyone is different

People are generally very different in their own unique ways. The way I think is essentially different to the way you do. I have a different value system perhaps compared to the one that I used to have as a child. This comes from progress, exploration, experimentation... It comes from learning. Because everyone is different, you will connect better with certain people. You will have clashing opinions with others. Embrace those differences and gain a different perspective. Don't judge them. Understand them.

4) Trust your decisions

Whether you are a person who believes in the power of gut instinct or someone who uses their brain to work out logically what steps to take next, trust that whatever decision that you eventually end up making, it is the right one for you. There are so many outside forces that can interfere with the ability of a person to trust themselves (family obligation, self pity, etc) but there are particular moments in life where you have to know that a certain bowl of porridge is just right.

5) Words have a powerful effect

Words sometime have a way of taking a life of their own. The words we utter to someone can impact them greatly without us really meaning to. That is how bullying tends to happen. Throw a harmless comment here and there about a person's appearance, their lack of social skills... As much as we'd like to deny it. We, as humans, are sensitive creatures and because of that we tend to take things to heart. The point here being that watching your words can have a big impact on you and the people around you. Your words are a reflection of you. Choose them wisely.


I'm not sure if that made any sense or not but if nothing else, be happy and smile.

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

The unluckiest girl in the world

Her name was Lucy,

And as the fates would have it,

She was the unluckiest girl in the world.

Physically she was fine,

Why, she was quite sublime,

Always had such bad luck,

Especially with baby ducks!

Every time she walked, she fell,

And everyday a new tale of horror to tell,

Always with her first aid kit,

Cos she knows that she'll need it.

Never did she win lucky draws,

She always picked the bad straw,

Never did she get picked for games,

All so scared, they didn't dare say her name.

Though her body was heavy with bruises,

Her smile was always light, 

And when people pushed her down,

She didn't put up a fight.

All she did was smile,

And said this in heart,

"If I don't learn to love and appreciate me,

Who else will play the part?”

The good, the bad and the supposed fat

Ever since yesterday, the social media world has been filled with a lot of emotion over a Star Newspaper article. 

Yeap, you all know the one that I'm talking about.

I was disgusted and cringing when I read the article. Disgusted at the lack of sensitivity portrayed by the author and cringing at the use of words, grammar and the general flow of the piece itself.

I consider myself to be a bit on the heavy side as well, so certain words that she uses hit a nerve with me. They bring back the scars that I'm still trying to heal. This is the truth.

More than anything though I believe this article is just an insulting and hurtful piece of whatever.

Who are you, Ms. Tee Lin Say, to make such assumptions about people based on their appearance?

Were you never judged for your appearance as well?

Since then, she has received a backlash of angry comments on her facebook page. As much as I'd like to think that she deserves most of the comments that she's getting, I also believe in killing our enemies with kindness. Maybe all she needs is a better perspective and this drama will hopefully serve as her wake up call. Well, one can hope.

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

A sense of giving

Some people just like to give. Whether it is in the form of time, money or something else that holds value to someone else, without any prodding, they will give with all that they can. I admire these sort of people. They give without expecting anything in return. A majority of these people would be mothers. 

Then you meet people who give and expect you to give something back in exchange. I scratch your back, you scratch mine sort of scenario... This is the more common occurrence in today's society. 

Not that we don't have any sincere selfless people at all. They are rare.

Perhaps this is why when one sees an act of kindness, it leaves such a profound impact for a longer period of time.

It makes you question your own belief system and your own views toward charity.

Do you make giving an obligation? 

Does it matter more if you give during the holy month of Ramadan? 

Does charity really begin at home?

These and many other questions start playing in your head as you try to make more sense of doing good. 

Sometimes, you have the best of intentions but are unsure if you can trust the people that you want to help. This is not uncommon.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing. Sincerity. You can fake it all you want but the best sort of giving comes with a sincere smile. You can't buy those now can you?

Love,

Geek with a pencil.

Another day in another place

Strong and sturdy
You are all steel
Not exactly Superman
But close
An Ambassador of sorts.

Your children are plenty
Some are wealthy
Some poor
The poor wander the streets starving
The wealthy have their servants.

Your trees stand tall amongst the dusty buildings
The car keeps still in this traffic
The dogs merely bark and hunt
I expected more colours 
It was found amongst the tangles of Saris. 

Regardless
Perhaps Amitabh Bachchan says it best

"Magical..."

The nature of friendships...

It has been a crazy past few days here in KL. The haze has proven to be something that has made its presence known and with that, we should all be more careful when venturing outside.

It is perhaps interesting to look at the nature of the surrounding air and compare it to what is perhaps the natural evolution of friendships.

When you first becomes friends with someone, you latch on to the purity of their optimism and the spark that makes them somehow different from everyone else that you have befriended. Even if others find them a bit annoying, you choose to see all the good that your friend has to offer...

However, friendships change and like the nature of air, it is never truly still. It could take a few months or a few years but sooner or later, you notice that you have begun to grow distant from that friend. 

Certain things about them tick you off and in some cases, you even find their presence to be akin that of the current haze. Poisonous. It fills you up with all sorts of bad feelings and drags your spirit down.

When you figure out what sort of effect your friends have on you, you start to think about your next plan of action. In some situations, you let the friendship just naturally fizzle out. People often grow apart and whether it is just a matter of circumstance or choice, sometimes it is for the best.

In other situations, you have to severe those ties yourself and blow away the haze. That is fine too.

For those who have managed to hold on to those special friends, I salute you for it is a treasure and accomplishment that you keep. Still, there is always a new breath of fresh air just around the corner and like the air before, it will still leave a profound effect on you.

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

What you are...

You are concrete, rusty and red brown,
Dusty,
You infiltrate my senses.

You are stuck in the past,
History,
It refuses to let you move.

You are lush mounds of green,
Scenery,
Nature looms constantly.

You are breath,
Watery,
Life is coloured.

You are the survivor,
You are the continuation,
You are Kathmandu.

The big deal about small talk

Fewh, trying to get back into the swing of things with blogging is proving to be harder than I thought but I guess like most things it's always a matter of discipline...

Today got me thinking about the way 'small talk' works. I'll skip over the dictionary definition because most of us would know what it is. It's basically just talking about random things. From something as mundane as the weather perhaps to other things like cooking and the football match on tv last night. 

Having been in Melbourne for 5 years and then coming back here has given me a culture shock in this sense. 

People in Malaysia rarely engage in small talk. 

In Melbourne, I'm used to having light chats with the people at the cashiers and shops. Here in KL, more often than not, people look at me as if I just came down from another planet if I try to engage in chatter. Granted, most days I kind of am.

There's an underlying power in small talk though. By engaging in small talk, you create a certain sort of atmosphere between you and the other party. It is a certain sort of aura and space and moment in time that somehow becomes exclusive to just you that are involved in the conversation. The little things can sometimes have the biggest effect.

If you possess this ability, then you and I could probably babble on for hours. If you don't, well, no worries, it's something that you can practice and get better at. I mean, why else would I talk to myself all the time?

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

Knowing what you want...

So it's been almost a month since my last blog post, apologies for that. It seems that packing and moving a part of your life takes more effort than I thought it would. Being serious here by the way. So now that I've partly settled down back home (still looking for a job)... I felt that I would like to cover something that I'm always intrigued by, which is the topic of the post.

Knowing what you want sounds a lot simpler than it actually is. How many of us can truly say that we want something with an unshakeable conviction?

There's the small wants such as that piece of chocolate or that special figurine on ebay that you've been looking at for ages.

Then we have the big wants. What are the big wants? Well, these have to do more with the question of one's existence perhaps. 

What do you want from your relationships? Do you want someone to be there to support you and you do the same for them? Do you merely want to have fun and engage in a hobby together? If it's a romantic relationship, are you seeking companionship, passion or security?

Relationships between people are ever evolving and we discover this as we continue to interact with all sorts of different people. Knowing what you want in your interactions gives a better sense of fulfillment and prevents you from being overtly negative, i.e. frenemies.

What do you want from your job? Would you rather do something you love and get little pay or is money the most important factor at the moment that you would be able to survive with a screaming you on the inside?

Not many of us will have the luxury of doing what we love, so we have to make do with what we can but never forget that your job is only one aspect of your life. You can always seek what you want from other parts of it. Passion helps fuel the soul.

These big wants will always continue to stimulate our minds and senses. Sometimes, to the point of over thinking, which won't do any good. Experiment as much as you can. Don't be scared to talk about this with others. Take some time for reflection because this is an important matter. Perhaps one of the best things to remember about this subject is that knowing what you DON'T want can help you understand what you REALLY want.

What do I want? I want to be able to live a happy and fulfilling life. And slowly but surely, I'm getting there...

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

Material memories

So, I've only got about 14 days to go before I head back to Malaysia for good. The packing is crazy, no doubt. And with this comes some decisions that I need to make as far as what I keep and what gets given away and such.

This feels very much like spring cleaning, only worse. Why? Because I can't just keep the stuff that I don't really want to throw away.

It's amazing just the sheer amount of stuff I've collected in my 5 years. Which leads me to this question...

How materialistic can one actually get?

I'm a collector (and hoarder) of many things. Earrings and hats are just a couple of my vices. Each one holds different memories and different feelings for me. 

This makes me conflicted. I know that material things aren't important but sometimes these little things seem to bring out the wonderful nature that my personality represents. The colour and energy that I have deep within me somehow gets enhanced with objects and I love making people smile with the quirky things I put on.

It's also interesting to see just how important one thing is compared to everything else for any individual. Whether it's a bottle cap collection or an assortment of figurines, everyone has something that they hold dear. 

What's important to me? This could probably be summed up in my response to my father when he asked if I really needed certain goods:

"I rather bring back my books than my clothes." - [And I really do mean it!] 

Of course, nothing really counts as much as the experiences and the memories that you make with loved ones. Those are things that you keep with you forever.

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

P.s. So what is it that you hold dear and could probably never ever throw away? Share em in the comments.

She is...

She is beauty
Captured in every moment

She is light
Incomparable

She is Strength
By the pound

She is wisdom
With ease

She is grace
Like royalty

She is love
Selfless and sincere

She is comfort
Regardless

She is 
Mother.


Written in honour of upcoming Mother's Day. Dedicated to my lovely mom and all mothers out there. 

What GE13 showed me...

I'm not one for politics but with all that's been going on recently I feel compelled to make sense of this somehow. And words help me do this.

As a Malaysian, it was hard not to find your feed on social media exploding with all things politics. Tensions were at an all time high just a day before the election. You could just not escape it.

And then election day came, many people were upset over lots of things. 'Phantom' voters and other sneaky tactics that have come about...

I will not talk politics BUT I will talk basic human decency.

One thing that I could see running rampant on social media was all the take about race. Videos were circulated of people of different races having issues with each other. Some statuses were personal and others were not. Doing your civic duty does not mean that you stop being civil to others.

Honestly, I am disgusted with the way some people act. It's the sort of sickness that makes me wish that I could be something other than human, so I would not have to deal with the stupidity of some.

Malaysia has always been a multicultural country to live in. Festivities are always something to look forward to. Yet, some find it hard to accept that is indeed so vastly diverse. It is indeed such a shame.

From all this negativity, there also lies optimism. There is still time to make a difference.

You can't change other people but you can change yourself.

I will do my best to do this and maybe, just maybe, we could all move forward, just a little bit more at least. What is done is just done, let us work for a better future.

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

Free Comic Book Day 2013

There aren't many things that you can get for free in today's world. So Free Comic Book Day (FCBD) is a pleasant and welcomed change for most geeks out there. Especially when we tend to spend lavishly on the things we love.

FCBD happens on the 1st Saturday of May every year and it is self explanatory. Basically, you get free comics! There are particular comics that are released exclusively for FCBD and people can have a look at the website to have a glimpse at what sort of comics they would be interested in getting. There are a variety of different choices and there are even some targeted at kids to encourage the habit of reading. Different stores have their own policies and collection to choose from.

The great thing about FCBD is that it encourages everyone to visit their local comic book stores and have a great time. Some of the stores even have local comic illustrators ready to sketch something out for you for free, all for the sake of their passion.

This year was my first time participating in FCBD and it was a great experience. I managed to get quite a few interesting selection of comics. 2 were bought. Mostly for me but some for my fella as well.

His and Hers FCBD loot.

Most interesting experience? Lining up to get inside a store.

Best part about FCBD? That it was also May the 4th, so STAR WARS! Hence, I acquired myself a suitable date, courtesy of a friend.

Always had a thing for bad boys...

                             

So yeah, why not try taking part in FCBD next year? May the force be with you always!

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

Steel lines

I am present
Enveloped in water

I look up at the ceiling 
There are steel lines
I think of mermaids 
And how they only look 
Down

I can search for the sun
They cannot

Defiant splashes
Looking for a way out

Body is hovering
My thoughts continue to sink.

The inevitable change...

Change. It's a very subjective topic for most people. The way you deal with change says a lot about you in terms of character.

Some are more comfortable with embracing it like an old friend... They are the ones who constantly seek adventures.

Some are a bit more reluctant. They are more than happy to just stay within their cosy little nook. Who can blame them? We are constantly seeking comfort. From food, from friends, from the atmosphere as well...

It is even more daunting when this period of change occurs during your teens and early adulthood. The physical changes are one thing, the emotional changes are on in a different time stream all together.

Change is inevitable. It is a fact. It will be dropped on you like a piano, regardless of whether you ask for it or not.

It is with this premise that I am about to make another big change...

I am moving back home for good.

There are various reasons for this and as much as it pains me to leave this wonderful city behind, perhaps it is about time.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I can't quite pinpoint the reason right now but who knows what awaits me. The scary unknown is something that even as kids that we have dealt with and entering this phase of my life is to be expected. I am as freaked out as I can be but I will deal with this.

Change is inevitable. And for those of you who are having just as hard a time as me at dealing with it, tell yourself this.

"There is a reason why this is happening. This is not scary. This is exciting. This is the feeling of possibilities."

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

P.s. I would like to thank everyone in Melbourne who have made my time a fantastic one. You all have made this an incredible experience and I truly feel blessed for having had this opportunity <3.

Why do people hate hipsters?

"Oh my god, you're such a hipster." 

This is an all too familiar phrase these days. I feel it necessary to first point out that I may seem like a hipster of sorts (according to the music I listen to and the way I dress apparently) but more than anything else, if I truly HAD to classify myself, I would be a geek. Geekster is the way I like to go.

I'm sure most of us would have some kind of an idea as to what a hipster is. The clothes, the music, the rejection of basically many things, if not all, mainstream. These are some of the ways that you would be able to pick out these beings in a crowd.

The word hipster itself seems to instigate various sorts of emotions from many individuals. The most common emotion though is annoyance and dislike for people from this particular subculture. But why is that so?

Is it the way hipsters talk?

Perhaps. A likely case is that people get annoyed at how hipsters seem to think so highly of themselves and their choices.

"You should totally check out (insert band name), they're amazing. Oh but they're prob not your sort of thing though."

Wait a second... That's it! It's the pretentiousness that they exude. There's nothing more annoying than someone waving their intelligence flag in your face, right? Although if you think about it, there are plenty of pretentious people out there who aren't hipsters....

Maybe it's the way they dress?

Oh yes, definitely has to be it. Those black frames, the skinny jeans, the scarves and such... It's not like punks and goths wear those sort of things too right? 

It could be all that coffee that they drink. Maybe it's the caffeine. Somehow, It accumulates inside their system with all the other hipster related things and gives off a certain aura.

Well, considering a lot of things, maybe I'll leave this one to science. Or is science too mainstream?

Love,
Geek With A Pencil.

A girl in love

I am a girl in love
In love with colour
The brightness that each hue screams out
The evocation of such still tenderness
That lets lady emotion run

I am a girl in love
In love with fiction
The fantasy that swallows me whole and spits my skin out
The possibilities of grander adventures
That has made me an addict

I am a girl in love
In love with ideas
The clanking of swords and the rush of adrenaline between them
The dynamites that explode on whims of randomness
That end with me talking to myself

I am girl in love
In love with life
Its constant inconsistency
Its memories of nothing

I love it 
Even when it does not love me.

Dreams vs Reality

Dreams... 

I have always been fascinated by them. Whether they are the sort of dreams that happens in REM state or the sort that a constant helping of Disney movies have made me believe in.

They say that dreams are a way for your subconscious to work things in real life that you find complicated. Things you maybe can't solve in reality. If you are a close friend of mine then you would be fully aware that my dreams are anything BUT ordinary. That only makes it even more fascinating though. 

I have had dreams of aliens attacking earth. I have had dreams of jumping from a waterfall higher than any building I've ever seen before. I have had dreams of being chased by a Mob Boss.

Okay, so more often than not, these dreams usually have a good looking male in there somewhere but that's only because dream me has such good taste and consideration.

Regardless of the dreams I've had, they've all made me think a little bit about my current state of mind at that moment. Made me take a step back and try to remember how I was feeling when I was in that place.

Then there also exists the sort of dreams that you want to see turned into reality. You know those dreams that I'm talking about... The ones you've always held close to your heart as a little kid. 

Dreams of going to outer space... Dreams of meeting the love your life... Dreams of travelling the world.

Mine is still to write a great book and get it published some day. I'm still working out the ideas in my head but it will most likely be a young adult novel or a children's book. And maybe I'll even open a little cafe at some point. Wouldn't that be lovely?

Both dreams are only imagination based though but they do make an excellent point. That thinking about them gives a deeper sense of self reflection that not many of us choose to acknowledge.

As time passes by and we continue to age, we have this habit of not listening to these dreams any longer. We become focused on the harsh realities of life. Worries seem to plague us constantly, even as we lay in the most comfortable of beds. Words like DEBT, COMMITMENTS and RESPONSIBILITY happen to coincide in a game of pong in our minds.

Growing up sucks. This isn't going to change anytime soon. Don't let your bitterness consume you. I feel it even more these days as I try to find my place in the world.

Keep on dreaming and don't just dream but turn it into reality. Words that are easily uttered but if other people have managed to make it somehow, why can't we regular folks right?

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

Play that geeky music...

Music is an essential part of our everyday lives. Whether it's turning on the radio in the car on the way to work or putting on some music as you clean up your room, a little bit of music helps.

For geeks like me, sometimes we need a little different sort of inspirational music to help us cope with certain things. I now present to you some tunes of that variety...

LeetStreet BoysLeetStreet Boys regard themselves as an Otaku band and basically, that's what they are. With songs called "Yuri The Only One" and "Hikikomori", it's hard not to immediately associate them with Japanese culture. Even more so, with lyrics that reference anime characters like Sasuke and Light Yagami. (If you have read all of that and did not get one single reference, you are NOT an otaku) It's just catchy, fun, pop music with an otaku twist. This one's for the crazy fan girls out there. KYA!

Kirby Krackle

A nerd-rock band hailing from Seattle, Kirby Krackle takes the stuff you like in comic books and popular culture and puts it into song. Ranging from geeky love songs about a Super Powered Girlfriend and even a song called "On and On" which explains the feelings of Wolverine himself in a way that makes you feel for him. Oh and they even have a parody of 'Candy Shop' called Comic Shop. Also I would totally do all the things that have been stated in this next song... Probably.

Adam Warrock

Mixing hip hop and pop culture together is a pretty exciting thing and this guy does it pretty darn well, doing it independently and with a great amount of passion. He's released a few different eps dealing with different shows from 'Parks and Rec' to 'X-Men'. A particular favourite of mine is his work called "Paperman", sampling the music to the disney short of the same title. It's a poignant piece that nicely sums up the short. However, since 'Man Of Steel' is coming out soon, I'll leave you with this little number...

So... do you know any other bands or artists of this variety that I should check out? I'd love to hear about them, comment below!

Love,
Geek with a pencil.

The usual spiral

The moon is the prison
My imagination its unwilling victim

It feeds me consistently with cups of thoughts

One cup after another

I'm not that greedy!

Let me be

It is too late

Slumber is no longer an option

My eyes are shut

My mind and soul are as wide as they can be

Guilt echoes on surround sound

My fingers twitch

These lips start to itch

But no sound escapes

All the noise

All the doubts, the worries, the contemplations

They become an unbeatable level... For now.

The Malaysian Reader...

That's right. The Malaysian Reader is not merely some magical creature akin to a unicorn. We exist. We are a very sparse species but generally, you will find us lurking in the book shops and flea markets.

Yesterday, I was a speaker at Buku Jalanan Melbourne and although there was a bit of a run in with mother nature, we sat down for post event drinks and just had a flowing conversation around random things like romantic comedies as well as important things like the state of reading in Malaysia.

It's exciting enough meeting someone else who reads but meeting another Malaysian who reads? It's like unlocking the bonus level in a video game.

Finding someone young who reads and enjoys it is also another achievement that gets unlocked.

So the question is... Why do more people not read? 

For some, it is the time. True, reading does require a certain amount of concentration and effort but isn't it worth it for a wider perspective? For whatever reason, work, school and just the general drama that is Life takes priority. An understandable thing. Still, even if you nourish other parts of yourself, there becomes a very apparent lack of a nourishment of the soul and mind.

For others, it is a question of money. Books in Malaysia especially cost quite a bit and if you want to read the more popular ones, it's even worse. Second hand book stores are an option but they might not always have the titles that you want.

I can't really say why more people do not read. Truth of the matter is it is not my place to say.

Still, one cannot deny the joy and delight that the act of reading is capable of sparking in the core of our existence. Reading is not for everyone but an endless imagination is.

The medium, the message and the procrastination...

Once again, I will endeavour to blog. 

Blogging and I are quite complicated in our relationship. I pay attention to him. He broadcasts my thoughts. And then at some point, like with most of my hobbies sadly, I slowly lose interest AND become lazy.

This time, it will be different. This time, I will stick by him. For personal reasons. For professional reasons. For reasons that I have yet to discover perhaps.

If you please, you are more than welcome to tag along while I explore my thoughts and imagination. It will most probably look like an 80's music video mind you. If you don't, well then... Why are you still reading?

Love,
Geek with a pencil.